News+and+politics religion philosophy the cynic librarian: Bush Loses to Hitler

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Bush Loses to Hitler

USA--Late-Breaking News

In a historical vote, George W. Bush received fewer vote percentage than Adolph Hitler. Hitler, former dictator of Nazi Germany, received 35 percent of the vote in his bid to become chancellor of Germany. In contrast, George W. Bush, received 28 percent of the popular vote in his 2004 presidential bid. Bush's slim margin of victory catapulted him into the seat of power of the United States of America.

Reached in Hell for a comment, Hitler said, "I am the ubermensch, of course I command more mindless drones than he does. I was an animal, a wolf in the wilderness. This Bush (isn't that a shrub?) character, he smells beta male."

Hitler is spending eternity in hell for crimes against humanity. As punishment he is butchered and flayed according to Kosher laws and then served kosher to apostate Jews.

Reched at the White House, President George W. Bush responded to Hitler's accusations: "My maleness is a Texan's way of saying hello. You want gonads, I got gonads. Hitler was a putz who ran a first-rate power into the ground. When I am finished here, wait until you see what I'm agonna do."

Bush's second in command, Darth "I'll be working in a chain gang soon" Cheney, quickly interpreted what Bush had to say: "What the President meant to say was, 'There are terrorists at the borders; they sweat smallpox and sneeze gonorrhea. We will defeat them no matter what rock they burrow into.'"

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