News+and+politics religion philosophy the cynic librarian: Wankers Unite

Friday, May 27, 2005

Wankers Unite

As Diogenes the first among equals of the dog-headed conclave, once said while wanking away in the marketplace of ideas: "Whether I use the right or the left hand, I get the same result: a gob of spit soon evaporated to dust." I interpret his allegory thusly: when the seas part and the tribes chase each other, you will find many who simply wade agog in the flood on the left and the right; but always truck your load across the muck and you will come clear to the other side.

BTW As the great Thomist, St. Asclepius Mariolus says in his difficult to find summa, _Pro Dominum Dominatem_ (written to repudiate the Averroist scholar _Bin Waytin Solange_, whose pantheistic doggerel may God anathematize into quarks): "God's infinity finds its rightful formulae posted ad hoc in the celestial soul. Animalistic doctrines that attempt to reduce this primum substantiale to earthly cycles, eras, strata, processional effluences, or otherwise anathema concoctions, disgrace the memory of the Philosopher himself and makes God shed floods of tears over the straits of Bohu and Tohu."

PS I have been authorized by the illuminated masters of Skull, Bones, and Pinheads to announce that our illustrious leader, his royal Ubuness himself, will declare in the next few months that evolution is a conspiracy of the terroristic minded, tweed-jacketed, beta-male smelling, closet pinko admiring intelligentsia that has taken hostage our beloved universities and schools of righteous indoctrination. In consequence, his royal ubuness will declare a war on said beta males and cull them from the pack, leaving only the alpha male to promulgate right doctrine and propoaganda to our cherished Xtian soldiers to be.

No comments: